I met Stacey Lindsay about a decade ago and worked with her for a few years—she’s a curious, compassionate journalist and writer—but I didn’t know much of her own incredible personal story until I read her new book Being 40 and had this conversation with her. We talked about the meaning of this decade of our lives, but more broadly, we talked about the scripts and checklists that women are often handed throughout our lives—and how we go about setting these down, centering ourselves, and self-authoring. We talked about being disappointed by the people we love, about forgiveness, about breaking cycles, and about the people we want to become next. For the show notes, head to my Substack.

In 2018, health and science journalist Alexandra Sifferlin began her investigation into the American diagnosis crisis: Why are so many people being misdiagnosed? What is the cost of this error? Who is trying to change the system—and what does a better healthcare system (for all of us) look like? The resulting book—The Elusive Body—is a fascinating read. Today, we cover the major parts of Sifferlin’s investigation and what’s unfolded even since she finished writing. For the show notes, head to my Substack.

I had some personal highs this April, and also a strange feeling (for me, someone who is constantly in motion, always moving forward) of being a bit unmoored—a reminder of needing to wait, of letting cycles be, of accepting stillness (or trying to, at least). I’ve also been thinking of a (related) Carissa Schumacher metaphor—the idea that each of us prefers a different part of the cycles of life: seeding, growing, or harvesting. I’m reflecting on all of this—and a few other new things that have become very meaningful to me—in this month’s solo episode. For the show notes, head to my Substack.

In her moving and beautiful book, When We See You Again, Rachel Goldberg-Polin writes about her love for her son, Hersh, who was stolen from a musical festival on October 7, 2023, and executed after 328 days of being held hostage. While I completely understand the instinct to turn away, I also really hope you will stay with us for this conversation, if you can. Rachel is incredible, and there are so many gifts to be found in her words. She told me stories that made me laugh, that stunned me, that were utterly profound, and that will stay with me forever. If you have ever wondered why we’re here—or what your “why” is—I think you will also be changed by Rachel, too. For the show notes, head to my Substack.

Psychiatrist Amir Levine, MD, is the coauthor of the mega-bestseller Attached. In his new book, Secure, he takes another look at the four attachment styles and the myths surrounding them to show how each of us—regardless of our starting point—can flex and become more secure in our relationships. In this (delightful) conversation, he also explains why certain seemingly insignificant minor interactions (which he calls SIMIs) have an outsize effect on our brains and our intimate relationships. He offers some advice for turning down the volume on the insecure attachments in your life. And we talk about more psychological phenomena that I think will resonate with many of you—from attachment gaslighting to the protest-regret cycle. For the show notes, head to my Substack.

I had a fascinating numerology reading with Janine Slome, and have been wanting to get her on the podcast for some time. Here, she shares a brief background on numerology, and why the practice can serve as both a potent portrayal of life and a map to guide you along your path. We also talk about karma—where it comes from, the different types, what to do about it. And Slome shares several predictions for our future. This episode is one of the wild ones—enjoy!   For the show notes, head to my Substack.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“I think we can take the same mindset to any change that we make, which is that getting off track is not something in you, it's part of the process itself,” says Eric Zimmer, host of the podcast The One You Feed. “And so the question just becomes, how do I get back on track with the minimum amount of emotional drama?” In this conversation, and in his new book, How a Little Becomes a Lot, Zimmer shares what he’s learned about how to create meaningful, lasting change. He draws from his personal experience (including a dark night of the soul he experienced with addiction), varied research, philosophies, and teachers, as well as what he’s observed coaching and serving others. His approach is full of nuance and complexity—but also, blessedly, he has very practical and helpful tools that you can put to good use immediately.   For the show notes, head to my Substack.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In my latest episode sans guest: What I learned from a new Yeshua journey with medium Carissa Schumacher. Why it’s difficult for many of us to actually listen. Why I prefer the concept of contribution over purpose. One of my favorite stories recounted by Michael Meade about the old woman at the end of the world. A reflection on what’s your thread to add. A framework for understanding power and different energies. How I’m currently thinking about AI. And a request for your feedback on a new project, and the possibility of gathering together in a few cohorts. Feel free to leave your thoughts as a comment/review right here on the episode.   And for the show notes, head to my Substack.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Meg Josephson is a psychotherapist and the author of the instant New York Times–bestseller, Are You Mad At Me? In her own life and in her work with clients, she’s come to focus on why many of us have an overactive fawn response. (You’re likely familiar with the other classic responses: fight, flight, freeze, and perhaps faint.) The fawn response can look different depending on the person but it is often related to a desire to feel safe, to be liked, to secure approval, and to please others. In this conversation, Josephson shares the five fawn-related archetypes, or behavioral patterns, that she’s identified. (My guess is that at least one will resonate with you.) Josephson explains why these patterns and responses make sense and why they can be protective—and also what to do if their overuse has become a strain on your life and relationships.   For the show notes, head to my Substack.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

One of my favorite repeat guests is back: I’m talking to psychotherapist Satya Doyle Byock about the duality of individuation and community. We get into the difference between individuation and individualism, and why it’s critical for all of us to individuate—to go on our own journeys—so that we can genuinely be a part of the collective, and not just subject to herd mentality. We also chat about our search for meaning, and why Satya encourages people to trust an irrational guide. And we talk about getting in touch with our daemons—which you can think of as your inner genius, a spark that wants to come through you.   You can learn more about the retreat that Satya and I are hosting at Omega in May here: https://www.eomega.org/workshops/tapping-what-wants-come-through-you.    And for all the show notes, head to my Substack.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“This is, I think, when people need more help remembering how to access their play or kind of letting themselves play—because adults do play,” says Cas Holman, a world-renowned designer and the author of Playful: How Play Shifts Our Thinking, Inspires Connection, and Sparks Creativity. Today, we talk a bit about Holman’s unique approach to play for kids, but mostly we talk about what she’s doing to help adults shift their mindsets—so that we might find age-appropriate ways to play that we genuinely enjoy and that can serve as a salve for our communities.   For the show notes, head to my Substack.   Get 50% off Monarch, the all-in-one financial tool, at monarch.com/thread.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“Glorians are unearned, unbidden, freely given,” says legendary author and mentor Terry Tempest Williams. “And to me that's also what grace is—those moments of grace that we didn't anticipate, we didn't deserve, we couldn't have imagined. And here they are. And I think that's another element that is deeper than hope. And do we recognize grace when it comes in all its different manifestations?” For me, this is one of the most moving conversations I’ve had on Pulling the Thread. I treasure every stunning story Terry told during our time together.    For Terry’s new book The Glorians, and all the show notes, head to my Substack.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“And that may be its greatest contribution—to insist that God is equally male and female,” says Daniel Matt, PhD, a scholar and teacher of Kabbalah. Matt shares radical revelations, some dangerous reinterpretations, and beautiful lessons from the mystical teachings of Kabbalah and the Zohar (which is the main book, or as Matt calls it, the masterpiece of Kabbalah).    For the show notes, head to my Substack.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I’m reflecting more deeply on evil in the present moment: What is evil? What’s our relationship to it? How do we increase our tolerance for acknowledging dark energies so that we can moderate and metabolize them—and keep ourselves and others safe? This episode is not meant to scare; my intention is really the opposite, as I don’t find fear to be helpful here. I’ll be sharing a few sources and ways of thinking—about evil and how we might respond to what’s currently playing out in the culture—that I do find incredibly helpful. There’s psychiatrist M. Scott Peck on exorcisms and the lie of evil, a framework of understanding from psychic medium Carissa Schumacher, a beautiful map for us to follow from energy healer Carla Schwiderski, and more.   As always, if you want to explore further, you can find links in the show notes on my Substack.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Marieta Pehlivanova, PhD, is a research scientist at the University of Virginia’s Division of Perceptual Studies (DOPS), which is a highly unique research group that investigates the mind’s relationship to the body, and the possibility of consciousness surviving physical death. They study children who report past-life memories, people who have near-death experiences, and more. Their work is fascinating, and it has the potential to change and shape our understanding of…well, why we’re here in the first place, and what the meaning of our lives really is.   If you want to go deeper on related topics (consciousness, mediums, other psychic phenomena, etc.)—see the show notes on my Substack.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“I think that we are most likely to benefit from such an encounter than to suffer from it,” says physicist Avi Loeb, PhD, who describes himself as an optimist in the search for extraterrestrial intelligence. Today, Loeb shares: What astronomy and dating have in common. His theories on the three interstellar objects that have been observed (including 3I/ATLAS). Why it’s likely that other intelligent civilizations exist. And why he thinks it would be wonderful to meet them—and  imperative for the future of human beings that we do so.   For the show notes, head to my Substack.   Get 50% off Monarch, the all-in-one financial tool, at monarch.com/thread.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lucy Kalanithi, MD, continues to instill hope in me. Today, she shares lessons from her life and her work as a primary care physician (she’s also Clinical Associate Professor of Medicine at Stanford University)—along with reflections on the legacy of her husband Paul Kalanithi, MD, who wrote the now canonical memoir When Breath Becomes Air before his death in 2015.    For the show notes, head to my Substack.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Journalist and bestselling author Jennifer B. Wallace shares the key ingredients to feeling like you matter, and to making others feel like they matter, too. She covers my favorite stories and stats from her new book Mattering, along with the practical tools, habits, and practices she leans on in her own life. We talk about the importance of putting a bow on things; how we can use the mattering lens to approach life transitions; the benefits of ego extension; and something called “the beautiful mess effect.” Wallace also shares how she’s approached what might be the hardest but most profound part of this, which is figuring out: How do I matter to myself? For the show notes, head to my Substack.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this month’s solo episode, I’m sharing more about the model of developmental psychology that I’m finding incredibly useful right now: Spiral Dynamics. As a framework, I think it can help us understand our world and culture better—and it can guide us in the best, and most effective ways to respond to it.  If you want to go deeper into Spiral Dynamics, there is a ton more for you in the show notes on my Substack.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tori Dunlap is the author of Financial Feminist and the host of the podcast of the same name. She has a very compelling way of helping women to effectively approach (and earn) money, while addressing underlying emotions, traumas, triggers, and stories. I think you’ll find her advice helpful if: You’ve ever been told, or thought, that you’re bad with money. You feel like you need to justify any spending or any earning. You feel like you have no control over your money (or your partner handles all the finances). You’d love to switch from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset. Or, you can deduce what the ostrich effect is, and you want to know how to combat it.   For the show notes, head to my Substack.   Get 50% off Monarch, the all-in-one financial tool, at monarch.com/thread.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.