EDJ and Jenna Dewitt sit down for a follow-up conversation about where Jenna has gone and grown since her interview with Jess and Devi in 2021. Jenna shares her journey as an aromantic, asexual, sapphic and celibate Christian, offering a fresh perspective on faith, identity, and belonging. Together, we unpack the often-misunderstood experiences of aromantic and asexual people, challenge assumptions shaped by purity culture, and explore what it means to build truly inclusive faith communities. Jenna explains the differences between aromantic and asexual identities, the meaning and history of the term sapphic, and why representation matters for people whose experiences are often overlooked—even within LGBTQIA+ spaces. She also reflects on her personal journey through evangelical Christianity, deconstruction, and discovering a more expansive, justice-centered faith. Whether you're navigating your own spiritual journey, queer identity, supporting LGBTQIA+ loved ones, or simply curious about the intersection of faith and sexual identity, this conversation offers wisdom, compassion, and hope for a more inclusive future. In This Episode What aromantic and asexual identities really mean—and the myths that surround them Why the term sapphic is broader than many people realize Jenna's story of faith, deconstruction, and embracing her identity Celibacy as a gift of freedom rather than a requirement How purity culture shapes our understanding of love, relationships, and sexuality Deconstruction can become a pathway to deeper, more authentic spirituality and self-acceptance Why many churches struggle to include LGBTQIA+ people—and what can change The importance of affirming community, belonging, and authentic faith Collective liberation reminds us that justice and love are inseparable. The future of progressive Christianity & practical ways churches and individuals can create more welcoming spaces Connect with Jenna: www.InvisibleCakeSociety.com https://substack.com/@jennadewitt https://www.instagram.com/jennadewitt/

In this episode, EDJ, Amy and Thea recap the 2003 romantic comedy Down with Love, a colorful homage to the glamorous screwball comedies of the early 1960s. Beneath its playful style, witty dialogue, and impeccable costumes lies a fascinating conversation about gender, feminism, workplace dynamics, and the cultural expectations of its era. We explore whether the film succeeds as both a loving parody and a meaningful social critique, discussing where its satire lands—and where it falls short by today's standards. In This Episode The performances, chemistry, costumes, and visual style that make the film memorable. The film's take on feminism, gender expectations, and the battle of the sexes. Romance, consent, and power dynamics in interpersonal relationships. How misogyny, homophobia, and outdated stereotypes are presented—and whether the movie critiques or reinforces them. Whether the movie's satire still resonates with fourth wave feminist audiences since this movie was made during the third wave of feminism How we'd update Down with Love perhaps in a 1980s context with a #metoo feminist lens projection of fourth wave feminism

What happens when everything you've been taught about faith, sex, and identity no longer makes sense? In this episode, Mattie Jo Cowsert shares her powerful journey from growing up in conservative evangelical culture to questioning the beliefs that shaped her understanding of God, relationships, and herself. Raised in the heart of the Bible Belt, Mattie opens up about the lasting effects of purity culture, the emotional toll of shame-based theology, and what it looked like to rebuild her worldview after leaving fundamentalist Christianity. Together, we explore how religious messaging impacts self-worth, why deconstructing faith can feel both terrifying and liberating, and how curiosity, critical thinking, and healthy relationships helped Mattie reclaim her sexuality and personal agency. Rather than offering easy answers, this conversation invites listeners to think deeply about identity, spirituality, agency, and what it means to build a life rooted in authenticity instead of fear. Whether you're navigating your own faith deconstruction, recovering from purity culture, or simply interested in conversations about religion, sexuality, and personal growth, this episode offers honesty, compassion, and practical insight. Discussion Points: Mattie's evangelical upbringing in Missouri Purity culture affects far more than sex and reaches beyond the church community The hidden emotional cost of shame-based religious teaching Leaving certainty behind What faith deconstruction looked like for Mattie Jo Dating during deconstruction Rediscovering sexuality with intention and safety after evangelicalism Separating fear from personal values Building healthy relationships without religious expectations Marriage, commitment, and modern relationships Reinterpreting scripture About Mattie Jo Cowsert Mattie Jo Cowsert is a New York City–based actor, author, and storyteller whose work explores the intersection of evangelical culture, sexuality, identity, and personal freedom. Raised in a multigenerational evangelical family in Branson, Missouri, she began publicly documenting her journey out of Christian fundamentalism through her blog, God, Sex & Rich People. Her memoir, God, Sex, and Rich People: A Recovering Evangelical Testimony, expands on that story, examining purity culture, faith deconstruction, and the process of rebuilding a life rooted in authenticity. Mattie also develops film and television projects inspired by her work and advocates for thoughtful conversations around religion, sexuality, and healing. Resources & Links God, Sex, and Rich People: A Recovering Evangelical Testimony by Mattie Jo Cowsert Mattie Jo Cowsert's website: https://www.mattiejocowsert.com/ Mattie Jo Cowsert on Instagram @mattiejocowsert Purity Culture Recovery Guide by Erica Smith

  A No Hard Feelings Chat with Jessica, Emily and Kristen Content note: This episode includes discussion of sexual assault, rape, coercion, abuse of power, trauma responses, victim-blaming, and spiritual harm. The story of David and Bathsheba is often taught as a cautionary tale about lust, adultery, and David's eventual repentance. But what changes when we read it through questions of consent, power, silence, and coercion? In this episode of No Hard Feelings, Jessica steps into the host seat with Emily and Kristen to explore the story of David and Bathsheba in 2 Samuel 11 and 12. Together, they wrestle with whether David's actions can rightly be understood as sexual assault, why Bathsheba has so often been cast as a seductress or co-conspirator, and what it means to revisit one of the Bible's most beloved heroes with clearer eyes. The conversation moves beyond the question of whether David committed adultery and asks harder questions about what consent could mean for a woman summoned by a king, in a patriarchal society where women had very little social, political, or bodily autonomy. They also compare Bathsheba's story with Tamar's in 2 Samuel 13, including the different language used in the two passages, the role of women's voices in the narrative, and why the absence of visible resistance does not establish consent. Finally, Jessica, Emily and Kristen sit with the difficult question: if David did sexually assault Bathsheba, what do we do with David now? Can we still read his psalms? Can we recognise repentance without minimising harm? Can someone be spiritually significant, write beautiful things, and still be unsafe or deeply destructive in the lives of others? In this episode, we discuss The familiar "David and Bathsheba had an affair" version of the story Bathsheba as a silent figure in a narrative centred on David The cultural and artistic sexualisation of Bathsheba Why the story has often been told through David's desire, guilt, repentance, and restoration The difference between explicit physical force and coercion through overwhelming power Why "she came to him" does not necessarily mean she freely consented Trauma responses including fight, flight, freeze and fawn The contrast between Bathsheba's silence and Tamar's voice in 2 Samuel 13 Whether the absence of a particular Hebrew word settles the question of sexual assault Nathan's parable of the rich man and the ewe lamb Psalm 51, repentance, and the limits of a repentance story centered on the perpetrator Why David does not need to be either sanitized or cancelled What accountability, consequences, and redemption might mean in the story of David A few questions to sit with Why have so many of us been taught to focus on David's repentance rather than Bathsheba's experience? What assumptions do we make when a woman does not visibly resist? What does consent mean when one person holds enormous political, social, and personal power over another? Can a person be gifted, spiritually significant, and still capable of serious harm? What does it mean to read Psalm 51 after taking Bathsheba's experience seriously? How might the church tell stories of repentance without making victims disappear? References and further reading Biblical texts 2 Samuel 11–12 2 Samuel 13 Psalm 51 1 Kings 1–2 Matthew 1:1–6 Scholarship and theological commentary Robert M. Davidson, "Did King David Rape Bathsheba? A Case Study in Narrative Theology." J. L. Andruska, work on David, Bathsheba, Dinah, and the lexical and syntactical case for sexual violation. Sara M. Koenig, "Bathsheba and Preaching in the #MeToo Era." Carmen Joy Imes, writing on David, Bathsheba, power, and consent. David E. Garland and Diana R. Garland, discussion of power, consent, and Bathsheba. Suzanne Scholz, Sacred Witness: Rape in the Hebrew Bible. Caryn Tamber-Rosenau, "Biblical Bathing Beauties and the Manipulation of the Male Gaze." Anne Létourneau, "Bathing Beauty: Concealment of Bathsheba's Rape and Counter-Power in 2 Samuel 11:1–5." Articles and contemporary voices discussed Bonnie Kristian, "The Old Testament Calls Out Cancel Culture," Christianity Today. "Did David Rape Bathsheba?" GotQuestions.org. Clay Jones and Jean E. Jones, "Did David Rape Bathsheba?" Christian Research Institute. John Piper's comments on David and Bathsheba, as reported by Church Leaders. Rachael Denhollander's public comments on David, Bathsheba, power, and sexual violence. Connect with us We would love to hear what this episode stirred up for you, what challenged you, and what questions you are still holding. Follow the podcast wherever you listen, and join the Patreon community for deeper conversations, bonus content, and space to explore the light and shade of deconstruction together. Together, let's keep asking: Where do we go from here?  

What happens when the faith community that teaches you about love also teaches you to reject a core part of who you are? In this deeply personal and courageous conversation, Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez shares his journey through conversion therapy, evangelical church culture, and the long road toward self-acceptance. Drawing from his memoir, Conversion Therapy Dropout: A Queer Story of Faith & Belonging, Tim reflects on eight years spent trying to change his sexuality in pursuit of acceptance from God, the church, and the people he loved. Together, we explore the lasting effects of purity culture, shame-based theology, and exclusionary church teachings on LGBTQ+ individuals. Tim offers a candid look at his experiences within influential evangelical spaces and discusses the emotional, spiritual, and psychological costs of attempting to suppress one's identity in the name of faith. This conversation is ultimately one of resilience, healing, and hope. Tim shares how he rebuilt a sense of belonging, reimagined his relationship with spirituality, and discovered that authenticity—not conformity—is the path to wholeness. Whether you're navigating questions of faith, sexuality, identity, or healing from religious trauma, this episode offers a compassionate and honest exploration of what it means to belong. About Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez is a writer, speaker, and digital strategist based in New York City. He is the author of Conversion Therapy Dropout: A Queer Story of Faith & Belonging, a memoir chronicling his experiences with conversion therapy, evangelical church culture, and his journey toward self-acceptance. Through his writing and advocacy, Tim helps foster conversations around LGBTQ+ inclusion, mental health, religious trauma, and belonging.

Own Your Fertility  In this episode EDJ sits down with fertility Doctor Jaime Knopman to discuss IVF, egg freezing, miscarriage, endometriosis, and the realities of trying to conceive later in life. Dr. Knopman shares why fertility conversations should begin much earlier than most people think, how egg freezing technology has evolved, and why infertility is not just a "women's issue." The conversation also explores IVF for same-sex couples, surrogacy, embryo freezing, and how fertility care changed during the pandemic. This episode is an informative and compassionate look at modern fertility options, reproductive health, and family-building in today's world. Key Points Women are born with all the eggs they will ever have. Fertility begins declining more significantly after age 32, with steeper declines after 35 and 40. Male infertility contributes to roughly one-third of infertility cases. Biochemical miscarriage and the commonality of miscarriage. Endometriosis can affect fertility through inflammation, reduced egg quantity, and physical obstruction. Egg freezing technology has dramatically improved through vitrification (rapid freezing). IVF success rates and misconceptions. IVF today often includes genetic testing of embryos to improve pregnancy outcomes. Surrogacy and reciprocal IVF. Fertility treatment and definitions of infertility are becoming more inclusive for same-sex couples and single parents by choice. Fertility insurance coverage changes. The emotional realities of fertility treatment. How the pandemic changed fertility care. About the Guest  Dr. Jaime Knopman is a fertility specialist and co-author of Own Your Fertility. She works with individuals and couples navigating egg freezing, embryo freezing, IVF, surrogacy, and fertility preservation. Podcast Update from EDJ: The host shares a summer podcast schedule update, explaining that with children home during school holidays, episodes will continue on a lighter schedule through the summer months. Planned content includes: One episode of No Hard Feelings One episode of News and Views One RomCom Recap At least one interview episode each month The host also mentions ongoing community conversations in "The Big Debrief" and invites listeners to connect there.

In this month's No Hard Feelings Chat, we unpack the popular concepts of soul ties and soulmates, exploring where these ideas come from, how they've been shaped by culture and faith, and whether they hold up under theological, psychological, and scientific scrutiny. Together, we challenge fear-based narratives that emerged from purity culture, examine the difference between healthy attachment and unhealthy enmeshment, and discuss why healing from past relationships is possible. We also explore the myths surrounding "the one," love at first sight, and the belief that a person's worth is tied to their relationship status. Drawing from psychology, neuroscience, and personal experience, this episode offers a compassionate and nuanced perspective on love, connection, sexuality, and human flourishing. Whether you're single, dating, healing from heartbreak, married, remarried, or simply rethinking what you've been taught about relationships, this conversation invites you to approach love with greater freedom, authenticity, and self-awareness. Key points: What "soul ties" are and where the concept originated The phrase "soul tie" does not appear in the Bible but does appear in purity culture narratives! Biblical passages commonly used to support the idea of soul ties What neuroscience reveals about intimacy, bonding, and brain chemistry Intimacy can create powerful emotional bonds without permanently binding people together Healthy attachment versus enmeshment in relationships A debate around whether sex creates permanent emotional or spiritual bonds The theological idea that God is "all in all" and this bonds human beings "in Christ" The origins and appeal of the soulmate narrative The myth of finding "the one" Love develops over time through trust, commitment, and shared experience—not instant chemistry alone. The sacred value of singleness and personal wholeness How culture, religion, and media shape our expectations of romance Healing from toxic relationships, shame, and harmful beliefs Building relationships rooted in authenticity, boundaries, and mutual growth Continue the conversation on Patreon: www.patreon.com/wheredowegopod

What if hell has been misunderstood? In this thought-provoking episode, we unpack one of Christianity's most debated doctrines and explore a radically different perspective on judgment, punishment, and the nature of God. Through personal stories of faith deconstruction, biblical exegesis, and theological reflection, EDJ challenges the traditional ideas of eternal conscious torment and eternal separation from God, examining whether the language of "fire" in scripture points more toward refinement and restoration than endless punishment. The discourse dives into the tension between fear-based theology and unconditional love, asking whether reconciliation—not separation—is ultimately at the heart of the gospel. Along the way, we explore how concepts like discipline, correction, and salvation have been interpreted throughout church history, and what it means to read difficult biblical passages through the lens of love. Whether you're questioning long-held beliefs, reconstructing your faith, or simply curious about alternative theological perspectives, this episode invites you into a deeper and more nuanced conversation about hell, justice, and the character of God. Full episode on Patreon.com/wheredowegopod

The Truth About Sexual Health and Purity Culture with Erica Smith In this deeply insightful conversation, Erica Smith unpacks the lasting impact of purity culture and explores what it means to pursue truly holistic sexual health. From anatomy education and puberty, to consent, contraception, desire, libido and fantasy, Erica offers a compassionate, shame-free framework for understanding sexuality. This episode challenges harmful narratives around sex while providing practical, evidence-based education for people of all genders and backgrounds. Whether you're healing from purity culture, raising children, navigating relationships, or simply wanting a healthier understanding of sexuality, this conversation delivers clarity, empathy, and actionable insight. Erica Smith is an award-winning, internationally recognized sexuality educator specializing in sex education for people recovering from purity culture and high-control religious environments. She is the creator of the Purity Culture Dropout™ Program, which provides comprehensive, medically accurate, LGBTQ+ inclusive, and trauma-informed sexuality education through coaching, support groups, workshops, and online community programs. Erica has more than 25 years of experience helping people heal sexual shame, build confidence, and develop healthier relationships with their bodies and sexuality.Top of FormBottom of Form In This Episode Defining purity culture and sexual health and how the two are incompatible A look at anatomy and how female genitalia is homologous with male genitalia Understanding puberty, menstruation, and body literacy Contraception options and STI prevention strategies Why consent and communication are foundational to healthy relationships The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire Healthy conversations around masturbation and libido The complexities of pornography and fantasy Debunking myths like "soul ties" Creating shame-free, LGBTQ+ inclusive sex education Resources & Mentions Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski Desire: A Guide to Managing Libido Differences by Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy and Dr. Jennifer A. Vencill  World Health Organization definition of sexual health Purity Culture Recovery Guide by Erica Smith

In this expansive and thought-provoking conversation, Dr. Lauren D. Sawyer unpacks the complex legacy of purity culture—tracing its historical roots, cultural entanglements, and deeply personal impact. Drawing from her academic research and lived experience, Lauren explores how purity culture is not just a theological framework, but a social system shaped by race, power, and control. Together, we examine how purity culture has been influenced by historical moral panics like the "white slavery" scare, and how its ideals have been disproportionately constructed around white femininity. Lauren offers a critical lens on how these narratives intersect with white supremacy, while also highlighting the varied ways purity culture is experienced across different identities. The conversation moves into the role of queer theory in reimagining sexuality, particularly as it relates to children and adolescents. Lauren challenges dominant assumptions about childhood innocence, emphasizing the importance of recognizing children as moral agents with the capacity for curiosity, embodiment, and choice. We also explore the concept of childism and why it's essential to creating more ethical, inclusive frameworks for discussing sexuality. We also expound on the idea of "orgasmic failure" and how redefining sexual success can open up more compassionate, realistic understandings of intimacy and connection. Throughout the episode, Lauren emphasizes the importance of storytelling and narrative in reshaping how we understand sexuality, identity, and belonging. With insight and care, Lauren discusses how therapy and education can support healing from purity culture, while also creating space for more honest, age-appropriate conversations about bodies, consent, and power. She introduces a more human-centered sexual ethic—one that prioritizes agency, relational awareness, and embodied knowledge over rigid rules and shame-based narratives. This episode invites listeners to question inherited beliefs, listen more deeply to young people, and imagine a more inclusive, liberating approach to sexual ethics. Guest Dr. Lauren D. Sawyer is a scholar, educator, and researcher specializing in Christian social ethics, gender studies, and purity culture. She serves as Affiliate Faculty at The Seattle School and Manager of Curriculum and Instruction at The Allender Center. Her forthcoming book, Growing Up Pure: White Girls, Queer Teens, and the Racial Foundations of Purity Culture (NYU Press, 2025), explores the intersections of race, gender, and evangelical sexual ethics.

What does it actually mean to "honor your parents" when the relationship is strained, distant, or painful? In this thoughtful and nuanced episode, we explore the tension between faith, family expectations, and lived experience. We unpack cultural and biblical interpretations of honor, distinguish it from obedience and access, and offer a compassionate framework for navigating boundaries, estrangement, and healing. This conversation makes space for complexity—acknowledging grief, validating emotional realities, and encouraging self-awareness—while offering grounded insights into how respect and integrity can coexist with necessary distance. We invite our listeners into a more spacious, honest understanding of family relationships—one that allows for both compassion and clarity. Honoring your parents doesn't mean abandoning yourself. It may, instead, look like living truthfully, setting wise boundaries, and choosing dignity for everyone involved—including you. Email: Wheredowegofromherepodcast@gmail.com Instagram: @wheredowegopod Patreon: patreon.com/wheredowegopod Key Themes & Topics Reframing Honor: Moving beyond simplistic definitions to understand honor as dignity, integrity, and non-dehumanization—not blind obedience or unlimited access. Scripture: A brief look at Exodus 20:12, Ephesians 6:1–4, and Colossians 3:21, including the often-overlooked responsibilities of parents. Boundaries as Healthy & Necessary: Understanding that boundaries are not rejection, but clarity—creating space for sustainable, honest relationships. Psychological Realities of Family Dynamics: Discussing attachment patterns, emotional distance, enmeshment, and the long-term impact of early relationships. Estrangement & Cultural Shifts: Examining increasing trends in low-contact relationships and generational differences in how family, duty, and emotional health are prioritized. Compassion Without Excusing Harm: Holding empathy for parents while still naming personal truth and honoring lived experience. Grief, Healing & Self-Awareness: Making room for mourning the relationship you hoped for, while moving toward acceptance and growth. WWJD article: https://thefaithfulcitizen.substack.com/p/where-did-jesus-go?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=1pgj0j&triedRedirect=true Estrangement articles: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jomf.12898  Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents https://bookshop.org/p/books/adult-children-of-emotionally-immature-parents-how-to-heal-from-distant-rejecting-or-self-involved-parents-psy-d-lindsay-c-gibson-psyd/c76b830ed14fe568?ean=9781626251700&next=t  The Place We Find Ourselves - 4 part series called "Engaging with Someone Who Has Harmed You"  (episodes 93 to 96) https://open.spotify.com/episode/2zk8LNivIxf2vH0bj4q1V8?si=8ed69a76f0af407c 

In this deeply insightful and expansive conversation, Chantal McKinney shares her journey through spiritual deconstruction, healing from church harm, and reimagining faith beyond traditional structures. Drawing from her experiences as an ordained priest, mystic Christian, and community builder, Chantal invites listeners into a vision of church rooted in love, inclusion, and the divine feminine. Together, we explore the impact of systemic misogyny in faith spaces, the power of prayer and inner authority, and what it means to co-create a more compassionate and expansive spiritual future. This episode is a powerful resource for anyone navigating faith shifts, seeking healing, or longing for authentic, liberating community. Petition mentioned: https://www.ipetitions.com/petition/los-women About Chantal McKinney Chantal McKinney is an author, mystic Christian, and visionary leader dedicated to supporting those on the margins of traditional church spaces. A former Episcopal priest, she is now the founder of Root Thrive Soar, Founding Pastor of Christ's Beloved Community, and founder of Contemporary Mystics Publishing. Through her work, Chantal creates supportive networks for those impacted by church harm and for spiritually expansive individuals seeking new expressions of faith. She lives in North Carolina with her family. Chantal's book: Following Jesus Beyond Church Walls: A Catalyst for Your Spiritual Growth available here: https://a.co/d/01oNjK8R Learn more: chantalmckinney.com rootthrivesoar.com contemporarymysticspublishing.com Petition: https://www.ipetitions.com/petition/los-women Key Themes & Topics Spiritual deconstruction and faith reconstruction Healing from church harm and systemic misogyny The divine feminine and reimagining God The role of prayer and Christ's example Reclaiming inner authority and spiritual autonomy Building authentic community outside institutional church Co-creating the future of Christianity The mass "exodus" from traditional church structures Reframing angels, demons, and spiritual language Spiral fractals as a model for spiritual growth Jesus' spiral prayer in John 17 reflects both spiritual growth and interconnectedness—like fractals in nature: o  Begin with praying for yourself o  Extend prayer to family and friends o  Move outward toward the broader community, your state and nation. o  Pray for the world

In this insightful and empowering conversation, educator and domestic equity expert Laura Danger joins us to unpack the invisible systems shaping our homes, relationships, and sense of fairness. With over a decade in education and a background in special education, Laura brings a practical, inclusive lens to topics many families struggle to name—let alone solve. As the creator of That Darn Chat and the author of No More Mediocre, she helps people navigate burnout, emotional labor, weaponized incompetence, and the unequal distribution of care work. Together, we explore how societal expectations around gender and parenting continue to influence family dynamics—and what it actually takes to build more equitable, supportive partnerships at home. Laura shares actionable strategies for discussing redistribution of labor, reducing resentment, and moving toward intentional, egalitarian relationships—without perfectionism. What We Cover The differences between physical, emotional, and mental workload Emotional and mental loads are real, measurable, and often unevenly distributed The estimated monetary value of a care worker, particularly a parent The impact of gender roles in parenting and partnership Navigating relationship challenges while striving for equity The cultural pressure of motherhood and its consequences Why many online parenting spaces center "motherhood" over inclusive "parenthood" Domestic engineering and social reproduction We are all carers and care work is essential labor Egalitarian relationships require intentional conversations not assumptions How to recognize incompetence versus weaponized incompetence Negotiating who is competent to complete various tasks as care givers in one household Mental health challenges in care work New family structures Community support plays a crucial role in sustainable change About the Guest Laura Danger is an educator and domestic equity expert helping individuals and couples navigate household labor, mental load, and relationship dynamics. She is the creator of That Darn Chat and author of No More Mediocre, and her work has been featured in major outlets including HuffPost and Business Insider. Connect with Laura: Website: lauradanger.com Instagram: @thatdarnchat

In this special bonus episode, we're giving you a behind-the-scenes look at what a typical month sounds like on the Where Do We Go From Here? Podcast. You'll hear: An excerpt from our March RomCom Recap Sneak peeks from two upcoming April interviews Clips from EDJ's conversation with Dr. Kevin Jenson on the Epstein files A teaser from March News & Views A timely reminder from February's No Hard Feelings discussion This episode is designed to give both new and longtime listeners a feel for the range of conversations we explore—from pop culture and media analysis to deeper discussions on power, purity culture, and sexual ethics within deconstruction spaces. Supporting the Podcast Some of our content is free for all listeners, while other episodes are available exclusively through our Patreon community. For just $3 USD/month (roughly $4–5 AUD/CAD or just over $5 NZD), paid subscribers get full access to: The complete RomCom Recap Full News & Views episodes The Epstein Files deep dive All interviews This episode also breaks down where your support goes and shares additional ways you can help sustain the podcast. www.patreon.com/wheredowegopod A Note from the Hosts We deeply appreciate every listener. We know transitions can be challenging, especially as we move from the original hosts, Devi and Jessica—who built something truly meaningful—to our current host: EDJ (Eady Jay / Evangelical Deconstruction Journey) Our hope is that you'll continue with us as we: Learn and grow together Engage thoughtfully with faith deconstruction Explore topics like purity culture and sexual ethics And keep asking the question: Where do we go from here? Stay Connected Follow, rate, and comment Find us on Instagram @wheredowegopod Review the podcast and share episodes with friends Join us in the Green Room March 31st (April 1st AUS / NZ) & April 28th/29th Join us on Patreon for full access and bonus content: www.patreon.com/wheredowegopod

Does church still have a purpose when you're questioning everything you were taught? ·         EDJ, Emily and Kristen share their current relationship with church and one word (or a few) describing their deconstruction season. ·         They discuss what church actually is and what they find important about a church or spiritual community. ·         They suggest that podcasts and online communities are ways of doing and being "church." ·         They explore questions around why people leave church and why people stay, particularly during deconstruction. Some of the reasons mentioned for leaving have to do with panic attacks or anxiety, burnout, LGBTQIA+ concerns or disagreements. Reasons for staying vary from relationships, to worship practices, to wanting to give children exposure to other opinions about God, to quality discussion with others and more. ·         The hosts delve into the gender (sex) of people attending church and why in the past this has been more feminine, but in the present leans more masculine. Naturally, they look at patriarchy and hierarchical issues, women preachers, pastors and leaders, and gender equity. ·         Kristen, Emily and EDJ, question the future of church and what it could evolve to become. They discuss Denominations that might be considered "safer" or more "progressive," and some denominations they would no longer attend. ·         Finally, the hosts discuss two Reddit questions for their unsolicited advice section: 1) I wish I didn't start deconstructing & 2) Parents keep asking me to go to church ·         Find us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wheredowegopod/ ·         Support this podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/wheredowegopod 

In this episode, EDJ interviews Adam Harris, the Executive Pastor at God Why? Church—a church built on people's raw and unfiltered questions. He earned a B.A. at Oral Roberts University, a Masters of Theology at Vanderbilt University, and a Doctorate of Leadership at Portland Seminary. He is dedicated to integrating spiritual formation and education for a faith equipped for the 21st century.  Adam shares his journey to God Why? church, discussing the impact of purity culture, the challenges of deconstruction, and the stages of faith as outlined by James Fowler. He reflects on the emotional turmoil of navigating faith and doubt, the role of conscience shaped by cultural constructs, and the importance of complex conversations across different beliefs. He emphasizes the need for liberation from shame and the value of community in spiritual growth. In this conversation, EDJ and Adam explore the evolution of their own faith journeys, the complexities of belief, and the importance of love and compassion. They discuss personal experiences with loss, the impact of near-death experiences and research, and the challenges of dogmatism and political division within faith communities. The dialogue emphasizes the need for civil discourse, understanding, and the role of community in fostering spiritual growth. Breakdown: Pastor Adam Harris shares his journey to God Why Church: www.GodWhy.com The church's name reflects a commitment to addressing questions about faith. Growing up in purity culture led to feelings of shame around sexuality. One youth pastor taught that nocturnal emissions were sinful. In some ways marrying young helped alleviate shame for Harris, but he urges that the broader framework of purity culture—the shame and the fear of punishment—needs to be deconstructed. Exposure to biblical criticism challenged Adam's understanding of faith. Navigating faith and doubt is a common experience for many. James Fowler's stages of faith provide a framework for understanding spiritual development. Stage four of faith often involves emotional turmoil and confusion. The shift to stage five allows for more complex conversations about faith. Peer pressure can manifest in various ways within faith communities. Embracing a new concept of God can lead to profound changes in faith. Personal loss can significantly impact one's faith journey and facilitate a shift from one stage to another Universalism and progressive Christianity can be just as dogmatic as conservative Christianity. EDJ and Adam explore universalism and the universality of God's love Adam shares research into near-death experiences and the insight they offer to the love of God. Perception of God influences mental and emotional health. Positive thinking can rewire the brain for better emotional health. Adam mentions the book "How God Changes Your Brain" by Andrew Newberg. Truth can be subjective and vary from person to person. Experiential faith emphasizes the importance of lived experiences. Compassion is essential in navigating faith and relationships. Deconstruction can lead to humility and a deeper understanding of others. The illusion of separation can hinder our understanding of community. Political division can stem from different stages of faith development or from reverting back to the same mental operating system despite changing beliefs. Civil discourse is necessary for bridging divides in faith communities. Experiencing love can transform perspectives on others. Adam shares a powerful spiritual experience he had in 2025. Listening to people at all different points on the political spectrum is crucial to stage five and beneficial to broader society. Fighting injustice should be done with love and compassion. Boundaries are important in maintaining healthy relationships. Community and connection are vital for spiritual growth.

In this episode of No Hard Feelings, EDJ, Kristen and Emily explore the complex history and cultural significance of surnames, particularly focusing on the tradition of women changing their last names. They discuss the historical context of coverture, the evolution of women's rights, and the impact of naming conventions across different cultures. The conversation also delves into modern practices in queer relationships, the legal and political implications of name changes, and the intersection of identity and faith. Throughout the episode, the hosts emphasize the importance of personal choice and reflection in navigating these topics, ultimately inviting listeners to consider what their surnames mean to them. Subscribe to our Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/wheredowegopod ·         Coverture definition: English Common law defining a married woman's legal identity as suspended and merged into her husband's, creating a single legal entity. A wife couldn't own property, sign documents, sue in their own name. Things like "Mrs. John Smith" convention come from this. ·         History: English tradition that began sometime after the Norman Conquest around the 11-15th Century;  ·         In 1765, is when it was codified into English law which is part of how it became a piece of both American and Australian tradition.    ·         Lucy Stone became the first recorded American women to insist on keeping her birth name in 1855 and there were other laws in the mid 1800s that allowed property ownership and changed some inheritance laws. ·         1966 is when the US Supreme Court states covertures was "obsolete" but it was still in existence in at least 11 states. Within the 1970s - with the rise of feminism and continued Supreme Court rulings laws requiring women to change their name were far more widely removed.  ·         Only about 20% of women keep their birth name currently. ·         Patronymic names - surname based on the given name of a person's father/paternal lineage - ie Danish tradition "Christiansen" literally means "Christian's Son." or in Russian "Ivanovich" would be Ivan's son. Some Scandinavian traditions also used "datter" for a female child. ·         Hispanic tradition - generally 2 surnames. First surname represents the paternal line and second surname the maternal line. Women typically keep their name after marriage and children then take the first surname of each parent. So Juan García Martinez marries Maria Lopez Rodriguez and their child is Anna Garcia Lopez. See also: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surnames_by_country#English-speaking_countries ·         No default tradition in queer partnerships. Options: keep, hyphenate, combine, create new name. ·         Legal navigation in states with varying protections. While still protected federally under Obergefell and Respect for Marriage Act, Tennessee alone has advanced five anti-LGBTQIA+ marriage bills THIS WEEK ·         Voter registration and ID laws require exact name matches. ·         Marriage/divorce name changes complicate registration. ·         Administrative burden often falls on women ·         Hosts delve into "unsolicited advice" at the end of the episode, discussing deconstruction, adult music choices and church attendance. ·         Stay tuned for the next episode of No Hard Feelings where we will unpack the purpose of church during deconstruction some more! Jess' Archive Bundles (available until 28 February 2026): • The Jess and Devi Show (2021–2025) – $30 • The Jess and Friends Show (2025) – $10 Discounts available for paid and free Patreon members.   

Raised in an agnostic family in Adelaide, Australia, Jason John studied zoology because he wanted to work with animals. After these scientific studies, Jason experienced a spiritual transformation that led him to became a six-day creationist, no-sex-before-marriage Conservative Evangelical with a dose of the Charismatic and a dash of Pentecostalism. At theological college he discovered that Christianity was a very broad umbrella, re-embraced evolution and, though married himself, advocated for a more open approach to sexuality within the church. He explores the intersection of science, Christianity, politics and Earth Care as an ordained minister and founder of ecofaith.org. Jason is also a performance poet and author. Listeners of this podcast can download his book Faithful Fornication: Bacteria, Bonobos the Bible and Beyond for free from ecofaith.org/freebies, password SpiritualMisfits, with the hopes that they will rate and review it on Goodreads and Amazon. Jason has B.Sc in Zoology and a Post Grad Diploma in Environmental Studies from Adelaide University; B.Min & PhD in Theology from Flinders University. In this episode of the Where Do We Go From Here podcast, host EDJ and Jason John explore Jason's journey from agnosticism to Christianity, the impact of purity culture on the church, and the evolution of human relationships. This conversation delves into the contrasting creation stories of the Bible and scientific evolution as well as the role of Jesus in modern Christianity. They discuss the importance of open and deeply honest communication in relationships and the past, present, and future of monogamy. Jason's book "Christian Sex Today" was attracting the wrong kinds of readers. Conservative Christians found it too progressive and progressives assumed it was conservative and weren't picking it up. So, Jason changed the title to "Faithful Fornication." When he became a Christian Jason initially rejected his scientific studies to embrace a literal 6-7day creation story. When he attended seminary, Jason learned that not all Christians reject evolution and he was able to re-negotiate his Christian beliefs in light of his scientific studies. Jason contrasts the Genesis creation stories with the evolution story: In the beginning…life reproduced asexually. EDJ and Jason discuss how life evolved from asexual reproduction to hermaphrodite and homosexual reproduction and eventually to heterosexual reproduction and the implications for Christianity. Jason elaborates on gametes and DNA including the unique (and exquisite) DNA of the platypus. The Bible should be approached as a historical document rather than a literal guide. Jesus' teachings emphasize love, grace, and acts of kindness and service to one another. This is a conservative view and yet it stands in contrast to American-Evangelicalism which has an over-emphasis on sexual behavior and identity and an under-emphasis on the beatitudes and Jesus' more challenging teachings. EDJ and Jason touch on the history of monogamy, polyamory, polygamy and polygyny and where homo sapiens' may be headed. Jason talks about Freud and the invention of the vibrator to treat women with "hysteria" by inducing orgasms. Women have a very similar libido to men. Open communication is essential in relationships to avoid secrecy and shame. Domestic abuse is a critical issue that needs to be addressed within the church. Human relationships are evolving, with changing views on monogamy and commitment. To listen to the entire 73min episode for free, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/wheredowegopod Jess' Archive Bundles (available until 28 February 2026): • The Jess and Devi Show (2021–2025) – $30 • The Jess and Friends Show (2025) – $10 Discounts available for paid and free Patreon members. 

In this episode, Katherine Spearing discusses her experiences with spiritual abuse, particularly within the contexts of purity culture and the Christian Patriarchy Movement. She shares insights on how these environments shape beliefs about gender roles, emotional labor, and personal values. The conversation explores the dynamics of cult-like behavior in religious communities, the importance of consent, and the journey towards healing from spiritual trauma. Katherine emphasizes the need for diverse communities and the significance of understanding one's own emotions as a pathway to recovery. Takeaways: ·         Many churches perpetuate patriarchal values under the guise of spirituality. ·         Spiritual abuse often uses religious texts to control behavior. ·         Purity culture is overt spiritual abuse that can lead to significant emotional and psychological harm. ·         Women are often conditioned to prioritize perfection over bravery. ·         Emotional labor disproportionately falls on women, even in egalitarian settings. ·         Spiritual bypassing can invalidate genuine feelings of grief and sadness. ·         Differentiation of feelings is crucial for healthy relationships. ·         Healing from spiritual abuse requires understanding personal values and emotions. ·         Diverse communities provide essential support for recovery from spiritual trauma. Katherine has a Masters of religion and culture. She grew up in an extreme Christian patriarchal movement (a cult) and has worked for several evangelical churches. After leaving spiritually abusive workplaces, she went on to found Tears of Eden, a nonprofit supporting survivors of Spiritual Abuse, producing and hosting its groundbreaking affiliate podcast Uncertain, which pioneered pivotal conversations around Spiritual Abuse and has been quoted in scholarly articles, seminary papers, and PhD dissertations. Her book, A Thousand Tiny Papercuts was published in October 2025. Find Katherine on Instagram: @katherinespearing & @tearsofedenofficial And websites: www.katherinespearing.com & www.tearsofeden.org Jess' Archive Bundles (available until 28 February 2026): • The Jess and Devi Show (2021–2025) – $30 • The Jess and Friends Show (2025) – $10 Discounts available for paid and free Patreon members. 

This episode marks the final chapter of Where Do We Go From Here? hosted by Jess, and it's centred on a deeply personal, wide-ranging conversation with long-time co-host and author Eady Jay. At the heart of the episode is an interview about Eady's latest book, Reconstructing Sexual Ethics, a part-memoir, part-theological work that traces her journey from growing up in Australian evangelical purity culture to reimagining a Christian sexual ethic shaped by grace, consent, dignity, and justice. The conversation moves fluidly between personal story and theological reflection, including: Eady's early public commitment to abstinence and the "virgin vs vixen" binary she was placed into as a teenager How purity culture shaped desire, shame, mental health, and expectations around marriage Why deconstruction alone isn't enough, and what reconstruction actually requires The vulnerability and risk of speaking about sex personally, not just abstractly Reframing Christian sexual ethics around consent, love, and lived experience Navigating progressive and conservative tensions without collapsing into certainty The episode also includes the regular Thoughts & Prayers segments: Unsolicited Advice for Christians on Reddit, including a candid discussion about "body count," virginity, and the long shadow of purity culture A closing Prayer of the People, holding space for grief, justice, transition, and hope This episode is both a farewell and a handover, honouring what this space has held while opening the door to what comes next. Get the Bundles: The Jess and Devi Show Bundle - $30USD (++ on iOS) The Jess and Friends Show Bundle - $10USD (++ on iOS) If you're looking for discounts as a previous Patreon member, send a request via email to: wheredowegofromherepodcast@gmail.com  Links Mentioned / Relevant Resources Eady Jay's website and bio: https://evangelicaldeconstructionjourney.com Reconstructing Sexual Ethics (book): https://evangelicaldeconstructionjourney.com Patreon archive bundles: https://www.patreon.com/wheredowegopod/collections Making Biblical Womanhood by Beth Allison Barr (mentioned in discussion) Sheila Wray Gregoire's work on consent and arousal non-concordance (referenced) If you're looking for support after sexual assault (USA) If this episode brings things up for you, you're not alone, and help is available. Healing support does not require certainty, a clear memory, or a particular story. You deserve care simply because something hurt you. Immediate and confidential support: RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) Call 800-656-HOPE (4673) Chat online at rainn.org Available 24/7. Free, confidential, and anonymous.