In this episode of No Hard Feelings, EDJ, Kristen and Emily explore the complex history and cultural significance of surnames, particularly focusing on the tradition of women changing their last names. They discuss the historical context of coverture, the evolution of women's rights, and the impact of naming conventions across different cultures. The conversation also delves into modern practices in queer relationships, the legal and political implications of name changes, and the intersection of identity and faith. Throughout the episode, the hosts emphasize the importance of personal choice and reflection in navigating these topics, ultimately inviting listeners to consider what their surnames mean to them. Subscribe to our Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/wheredowegopod ·         Coverture definition: English Common law defining a married woman's legal identity as suspended and merged into her husband's, creating a single legal entity. A wife couldn't own property, sign documents, sue in their own name. Things like "Mrs. John Smith" convention come from this. ·         History: English tradition that began sometime after the Norman Conquest around the 11-15th Century;  ·         In 1765, is when it was codified into English law which is part of how it became a piece of both American and Australian tradition.    ·         Lucy Stone became the first recorded American women to insist on keeping her birth name in 1855 and there were other laws in the mid 1800s that allowed property ownership and changed some inheritance laws. ·         1966 is when the US Supreme Court states covertures was "obsolete" but it was still in existence in at least 11 states. Within the 1970s - with the rise of feminism and continued Supreme Court rulings laws requiring women to change their name were far more widely removed.  ·         Only about 20% of women keep their birth name currently. ·         Patronymic names - surname based on the given name of a person's father/paternal lineage - ie Danish tradition "Christiansen" literally means "Christian's Son." or in Russian "Ivanovich" would be Ivan's son. Some Scandinavian traditions also used "datter" for a female child. ·         Hispanic tradition - generally 2 surnames. First surname represents the paternal line and second surname the maternal line. Women typically keep their name after marriage and children then take the first surname of each parent. So Juan García Martinez marries Maria Lopez Rodriguez and their child is Anna Garcia Lopez. See also: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surnames_by_country#English-speaking_countries ·         No default tradition in queer partnerships. Options: keep, hyphenate, combine, create new name. ·         Legal navigation in states with varying protections. While still protected federally under Obergefell and Respect for Marriage Act, Tennessee alone has advanced five anti-LGBTQIA+ marriage bills THIS WEEK ·         Voter registration and ID laws require exact name matches. ·         Marriage/divorce name changes complicate registration. ·         Administrative burden often falls on women ·         Hosts delve into "unsolicited advice" at the end of the episode, discussing deconstruction, adult music choices and church attendance. ·         Stay tuned for the next episode of No Hard Feelings where we will unpack the purpose of church during deconstruction some more! Jess' Archive Bundles (available until 28 February 2026): • The Jess and Devi Show (2021–2025) – $30 • The Jess and Friends Show (2025) – $10 Discounts available for paid and free Patreon members.