This week on Insights from the Couch, we sit down with the fierce and unapologetic Valerie Jones to talk about her powerful book, The Selfish Year. And yes—we mean selfish in the most revolutionary way possible. Together, we unpack what it really means to stop abandoning yourself, to take radical responsibility for your life, and to choose your freedom—even when it disappoints other people.We dive into divorce, people-pleasing, inner child work, emotional abuse, and what Valerie calls “First Girl” and “Hurt Girl.” This conversation is about midlife awakening, reclaiming your voice, and learning how to sit in the fire of discomfort without losing yourself. If you’ve ever felt stuck, resentful, lost, or like you’re living someone else’s version of your life… this episode will hit home. Press play. This is the work. Episode Highlights:[00:00] – Welcome back! We introduce Valerie and why The Selfish Year moved us so deeply.[02:45] – Redefining “selfish”: why selflessness has been conditioning women to self-abandon—and what it means to be “full of self.”[05:22] – Laura shares her own rescuer pattern and what it took to hit the wall.[08:42] – Valerie opens up about childhood sexual abuse, people-pleasing, and her first marriage marked by bipolar disorder and addiction.[13:12] – Divorce as transformation—not failure—and why we should be applauding women who walk through it.[16:11] – “First Girl” and “Hurt Girl”: how we exile our authentic self to survive—and how to bring her back.[21:05] – Sitting still with yourself: why there is no shortcut to healing and why everything is data.[25:56] – The “villain era”: disappointing others, standing in the fire of disapproval, and building resilience.[33:35] – Playing the game of your life instead of sitting on the sidelines.[38:42] – Radical responsibility: moving from victimhood to sovereignty and reclaiming your power of choice.[44:00] – The woman dancing in the surf: the moment that symbolizes the freedom we’re all craving.[48:17] – How to connect with Valerie and get your copy of The Selfish Year.  If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share "Insights from the Couch" with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more! Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace and felt yourself disappear? The Cost of Quiet is for anyone who avoids conflict and pays the price. Reclaim your voice, strengthen your relationships, and experience real peace. Order your copy and join the movement: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you! 👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/ Order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launched February 3rd. Order your copy today: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book