In this episode, we sit down with dating and heartbreak recovery coach Cole Zesiger for a deeply honest conversation about what really happens after a breakup—and why healing is so much harder than people want to admit. We talk about why heartbreak can feel all-consuming, how our brains are wired for attachment, and why “just move on” is some of the least helpful advice out there.Together, we explore what it actually takes to recover after loss, rebuild a meaningful life, and create healthier relationship patterns moving forward. Whether you’re newly single, stuck in an on-again/off-again cycle, or simply wanting to understand yourself better in relationships, this conversation is packed with insight, compassion, and practical guidance that meets you where you are—without shortcuts or shame. Episode Highlights:[0:00] – Welcome to Insights from the Couch and why heartbreak deserves real conversation [2:10] – Meeting Cole Zesiger and how his own divorce shaped his work [6:45] – Why rebounds “work”… until they don’t [9:30] – The evolutionary psychology of heartbreak and why it feels unbearable [14:50] – No contact explained: why space is necessary for healing [18:25] – Social media, blocking vs. muting, and why tiny “hits” keep you stuck [23:45] – Why people stay frozen in grief for years [26:55] – Colette shares her own hard-earned lesson about no contact [31:10] – How people actually get back together in a healthy way [36:00] – Rebuilding your life after heartbreak: the six key areas that matter [41:50] – Attachment styles and why we repeat the same relationship patterns [48:00] – Forgiveness, letting go, and reclaiming your energy [55:10] – Why healthy relationships are worth the risk, according to long-term research Links & Resources· Cole Zesiger on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachcolezesiger · X’s and Knows: The Breakup Advice You Don’t Want to Hear: https://www.amazon.com/Exs-Nos-Breakup-Advice-Dont/dp/1394324138· Cole’s Website: https://coachcolezesiger.com If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share "Insights from the Couch" with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you! 👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/ Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.
